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Resistance to our plans, goals and dreams presents itself in many forms. Some of the resistance we encounter is beyond our immediate control. Inclement weather, emergencies, other people’s schedules. This form of resistance is expected. We learn early in life to regroup and adapt to these inconveniences.
What about the resistance of other people?
Those close to us who do not believe in our dreams, present a form of psycho-social resistance. The impact upon us is usually proportional to our personal confidence. The greater our attachment to the opinions of others, the greater the influence their doubts in our abilities will have.
The first type of resistance is external, the second is on the fence. It is the third type that has the largest impact upon the viability and future of our dreams.
The resistance that arises from within. Our doubts, bad habits, distractions and lack of motivation can do far more to abort our goals and dreams than any outside force.
Any of this sound familiar:
“I wake up feeling tired after a night of restless sleep. Do I turn over for 5 more minutes? Re-set the alarm for another 30 minutes or get up, get moving and get out.”
“I’ve been working out at the gym consistently for 3 months now. Over the last week, I just haven’t felt like dragging myself to the gym. The 15 min drive each way, changing clothing and going to lunch with my friends, all seem like great reasons to cancel my workout again today.
Pushing past the resistance in our own psyche can ofttimes be challenging.
There is no one standing between us and our goal. No financial hurdle to surmount, no time constraint. Just the voice of dissent and lack of motivation within that keeps nagging and gnawing at our resolve. Our inner gremlin is hell-bent upon making sure realizing our dreams and goals will not be a walk in the park.
But is this inner resistance really a threat?
In the light of the saying: what does not kill you, makes you stronger. Inner resistance slows us down, may reduce us to the ranks of mediocrity, can waste our time, but very rarely does it threaten our lives.
A more empowering way to view inner resistance is to treat it like resistance training.
In order strengthen our muscular, skeletal, cardiovascular systems and program neuromuscular coordination, some form of resistance is required (weights, rubber tubing, human manual resistance,bicycle gear shifting, etc). Without resistance our bodies tend to waste away. Resistance is stress. And a sufficient amount of stress is not only healthy, but necessary for our growth and development.
So let’s embrace our inner resistance and use it as an opportunity to survive, strive and thrive.
When you feel inner resistance starting to cramp your “goal getta” style, employ the strategies below:
Revisit your original reason for pursuing the goal.
Is the original “WHY” still important to you? Will achieving the goal contribute to the sense of fulfillment and purpose in your life. Sometimes we lose focus of the bigger picture – the WHY behind our goal. The daily grind has a way of moving our true desires to the back burner. Making it important to periodically remind ourselves why a particular effort is important to us. Reconnecting with your WHY can provide much-needed strength to carry on.
Take a few minutes to re-write your goals on paper and the reasons why you want to make this particular dream a reality.
Putting our dreams on paper infuses them with our vision and strengthens our influence over the future. Write this out by hand for the greatest effect. Place this “Note to Self” where you will see it regularly.
Get a partner involved.
Ask a friend, colleague or family member who is also pursuing a goal to be your Accountability Partner. Share your goals and program with each other. Update each other daily on your progress and get/give feedback on how you are doing. Have you noticed that we often find it easier to make excuses to ourselves for not showing up, but will make every effort to show up when others are expecting us. Use this to your advantage.
Reinvent your program or plan of action.
The task we need to complete to achieve our goals can become stale, boring and an actual turnoff over time. Go back to the drawing board and come up with new actions achieve your goal. If what you are already doing is working just fine, make little tweaks like: rearranging your schedule, changing the location of an activity (workout in the park, instead of the gym).
Creating the life we want is not easy. Becoming our best self can be even more difficult.
Becoming your best self requires some effort, awareness, creativity and compassion.
You get to know yourself (really) when you challenge yourself. Changing yourself is the most challenging effort you will make in life. The part of us that we have hidden ‘in denial’ will rear its ugly head as soon as we initiate the change process.
Be prepared to assess, resource and adapt.
I deal with this issue of “inner resistance” as sometimes the voice in your head can undermine the inner courage in your heart. During these times I tend to think practically about my past successes, my abilities, and in the end I tend to take a risk so that I can reach a new level of EXCELLENCE. Risk taking is what makes us feel alive! No reward without some level of “going for it.” Now that inner negative voice is but a whisper.
Excellent strategy Walker. Thanks for sharing.
Wise, clear and beautiful words of wisdom Bro. Kazi. In 1991 I made the effort by joining the Transportation Workers Union Black History Committee after procrastinating the year previous year. I found a purpose and direction in my life by becoming a integral part. I travel through each borough reaching out to poets, dancers, writers, Martial Arts Teachers, anyone that possess a creative message or energy so our annual Black History Celebration would be dynamic. I also took the time to write a article about our golden heritage. By reading, writing on the particular subject that I was studying about I found my creative voice or artistic expression that needed to be conveyed to any audience.
I believe that life is a learning experience for those seeking knowledge. The question is what are you seeking, just look at what`s in your hand. And if not what it should be put it down and pick-up the proper tool that well beneficial. Don`t dwell on the negative but move quickly toward the positive.
David, you hit the nail squarely on the head. Don’t dwell on the resistance. Use it as a means to find new ways to move your project forward.
Thank you for sharing and much success in your journey.